Thursday, October 12, 2006

Reflections On Being A Stay-At-Home-Mom

Photo: Courtesy of Josephine Wall

Reading the blog Bebestages sparked a memory of when I was in this blogger's (Liz Smith) bebe stage. She writes in her posting titled "Is 3 really better than 1 or 2?","Never in a million years did I think I would be doing this for a living. I worked in a huge company, had long hours and loved what I did. When I decided to stay home, my whole world changed and life turned around."

Oh, do I ever remember that time in my life when I did the 180 flip! Here are some of my reflections on that time in my life to share: I was a driven, ambitious non-desirous-of-children career woman. I had been that way for a long time, and I had zero desire to become pregnant and be a stay-at-home-mom. In truth, I was rebelling against what each parent wished for me, and therein was the conflict. My Father wished for me to be a stay-at-home Mom, and my Mother wished me to be a career woman as she had been. I lived with the conflict of their wishes for most of my young adult life until I became pregnant. I continued working throughout my pregnancy because I had my own business and loved it. I didn't want to let pregnancy slow me down. And I didn't!

However, there was another surprise for me I hadn't seen coming. A week after returning home with my child from the hospital, the Mother-in-Law comes to visit her new grandchild. We have a special bed set up for her in the nursery. She is pleased Jewish Grandmother, and life was going to be back to normal. I was planning to return to work with nanny help.

I received a knock on our bedroom door in the middle of the night. It was the Grandmother. She had seen a bright light flash across the room which had awoken her, and so she had gone to check on my daughter. She sensed something was wrong and looked at my daughter's coloration, and my daughter was ghostly white. She had my daughter in her arms when she knocked on the door. The Grandmother's expression said it all.

Taking one look at my daughter's condition and seeing that she was to weak to take my breast, I went into action. The rest is something of a blur because time was of the essence, and all of us were in a state of shock. In short, my daughter was checked into the hospital by a doctor other than the one I had, and she was diagnosed with a severe case of spinal meningitis. and not expected to live very long. However, since I was ALSO working with a group of healers in the area where we lived at that time, I called them into action, and they made regular visits to the hospital room where my daughter lay. Each healer worked in their own way.

The doctors kept saying that my daughter most likely wouldn't survive and that if she
did survive, she would be a vegetable. Of course, I was deal-making with God. "If you let my daughter live, then...." You know how that goes! The amazing healers kept telling me that she would survive and grow up to be a healthy, bright, vivacious child. (I thanked them then, and I thank them again now wherever they be) Well, guess who was right? Yes, my daughter is now in her thirties, and she is an amazing woman. It's not just her Mother that says that either! Most people are blown away by her beauty, wisdom and charisma. She is a animal and child magnet too.

But back to the story: so this is how I became a stay-at-home-mom. The doctors told me she was a "Miracle Child", and that I had best watch over her personally in the ensuing years because sometimes the menigitis returns. I had a choice, and it was an easy one at this point. I have never regretted it, nor looked back. Staying home with my daughter and spending time with her as she grew up was a treasure I gave myself.

Technorati Tags:, Bebe Stages,,

1 comment:

stev said...

sometimes life really does take unexpected turns & twists

> Staying home with my daughter and spending time with her as she grew up was a treasure I gave myself.
Very poignant.